News from the Pool: Tommy's Surprise

"Tommm-meeee, I have a surprise for yooooou," she called from the shallow end of the pool. The little girl beckoned to the boy who clung to his floatation noodle near the perimeter. It was a slow day and the only poolsitters were me, the two young children, and Tommy's mommy.

I was reading Anna Karenina and thinking (once more) that I'd been born to the wrong era & social class, and simultaneously eavesdropping on the conversation of the children. She was what I assumed to be first generation Chinese-American, and he was first generation Russian-American. They were discussing Chinese dragons and whether or not they were scary. But it's this image that stays with me: the querrulous little boy, frustrated that his friend is the better swimmer, his mother listening but holding back, and the little girl, who holds a ball underwater, is calling to him. By sheer kind inventiveness she offers him delights.

Another memory: swimming lessons, pre-1990. Amber Wanner is a popular tomboy in my grade and the only kid I know at the Worthington pool. I am sent to join the advanced class and the instructor has me swim further out to him in deep water than I ever have before. I'm fine on the way out, but it looks too far on my return and I panic and flounder. Amber, hanging on to the pool's edge, reaches for my hand and pulls me in. I have been saved.

These are my feminine ideals. These are the images that sustain me in rough water. Maybe they are real, or maybe of my own making, but these bring me peace where otherwise I might not find it.