Blessings of Omission

My best friend, Debbie and I both lived in Bloomington, Indiana the past few years while attending IU. She moved to Philadelphia. I moved to Columbus. It has been an interesting time in our friendship, as we negotiate the distance and our entrance into the professional world.

Debbie ended a relationship when she left town, and it was a sad time. (This is not gossip, I swear. It's old news, people!) Not just because the relationship was left behind in Indiana. Debbie's wonderful dog-pet, Petey, was left behind as well, in the temporary care of her ex. Or so I thought.

Weeks passed. Debbie grew adjusted to Philly and her life and responsibilities there. She met friends and got involved in good, meaningful pursuits. Every time I would ask about Petey, she would groan and yell at me. She "missed him so much!" All the same, weekends came and went, and soon a month had passed and the dog was still in his daddy's care.

I realized that I wasn't being sensitive by asking anymore. I realized it just hurt her to think of her canine companion she'd left behind with the rest of it. I grew to understand that the dog was never coming to Philadelphia, and would live out his days in Bloomington, perhaps never to see his dear mother again. And so I stopped mentioning him in our conversations.

While Debbie was settling in to her Philadelphia home, I was taking stock of my situation in Columbus. I found work, spent time with old friends and family, enjoyed myself. But I wanted something more emotionally fulfilling. This was meant to be new to me, but everything I was invested in was old as my childhood. I kept telling Debbie that I was thinking about volunteering as a Big Brother with Big Brothers/Big Sisters. She was the one who inspired me to do it in college, by her great experiences with it. So naturally, she asked about it routinely.

One thing I forgot to mention: I told her I had already signed up. A lie, I know. Why did I lie? There I have only guesses and excuses, cheap talk and throat-wind. She would ask about it regularly, and I guess she eventually surmised, from my lack of specifics, that it was bogus. She stopped asking. She recognized a weakness in me and forgave me so gracefully as to never need a word. Another blessing of omission.

Of course, I am finally signed up for BB/BS now. I'm excited to be involved in a boy's life and feel like less of a leech on society. I know I will get a lot out of it and hopefully put a lot in. And Petey? Debbie is picking up her dog-pet this Saturday. Maybe it's no "Gift of the Magi," but these blessings of omission are blessings all the same.